


Too Weird?

by femmefatales



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Kissing, Lesbian Sex, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-25 17:18:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10768845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femmefatales/pseuds/femmefatales
Summary: After their minute-long kiss, Rachel and Monica's true feelings surface.Takes place in Episode 19 of Season 4, "The One With All The Haste".





	Too Weird?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IllegalKittens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllegalKittens/gifts).



It was just to get their apartment back. 

That was it.

Monica knew this, and yet she still allowed her mind to wander into the forbidden territory that she had labelled “Bad Thoughts About Rachel”. 

As their lips collided, all Monica could think about was that she wanted the boys to leave them alone. And then, once Rachel’s taste began to overwhelm her senses, Monica fought back the sudden urge to stroke the inside of Rachel’s soft thigh. Vanilla perfume, of course. The scent of Rachel’s floral shampoo made her dizzy, and _Fuck_ did she want to run her fingers through those sandy blonde locks. 

Chandler and Joey were “ooo-ing” and “ahh-ing” right in front of them, but their obnoxious voices soon faded away into the background. She was so wrapped up in Rachel, in the way her supple skin slid under her fingertips. If Monica didn’t know better, she’d say that Rachel was feeling something similar; her breathing was quick and her gracile hands shook. With need? No, of course not. With nerves. It had to be nerves. Rachel hadn’t kissed a girl since high school, and that girl had been Monica. The memory still fueled her fantasies when she was alone and aching between her bedsheets during endless nights. 

The timer, which had been set for a minute and placed on the coffee table, beeped obnoxiously. Monica and Rachel practically ripped apart, startled by the interruption. Monica could have sworn that Rachel’s pupils were abnormally huge, lust-blown, even; but surely she was lying to herself. 

“Well,” Monica cleared her throat and glared at Chandler and Joey, who were staring at the two women open-mouthed. “We came through on our side of the deal. Now may we please have our apartment back?”

They nodded dumbly, and Monica couldn’t help but giggle. Men. “Now shoo,” She said with a wave of her hand. The boys obeyed without comment (probably to go jack each other off, or do whatever the hell they did when they were alone) and exited the apartment promptly. They shut the door with a slam and Monica immediately turned to Rachel, expecting to see amusement or embarrassment in her features. She was shocked to see something akin to fear in her gorgeous blue eyes. Her cheeks were dusted with pink and her glossy lips were parted just slightly. 

“Rach?” Monica asked, cocking her head to the side slightly. “What’s the matter? Was that too weird for you?”

Rachel cleared her throat and smoothed her skirt down. She shook her head and only met Monica’s eyes for a moment; her gaze quickly flitted away. “N-No. It...it was funny. I, um, I should go take a nap.” 

Monica raised an eyebrow incredulously. Had she really been that bad of a kisser? She knew Rachel was as straight as a ruler, but this was concerning. “Nap? You never take naps. What’s the matter?” Monica rested a loving hand on Rachel’s shoulder and her heart broke when the other woman flinched. White hot panic shot through Monica, then; what if she’d somehow read her mind and figured out how Monica felt about her? She swallowed thickly, removing her hand and placing it in her lap. Rachel looked at her through her eyelashes, blinking quickly. 

“Nothing’s the matter,” Rachel’s voice was soft and shaky. “I-It’s just--never mind,” Rachel stood up and Monica’s heart caught in her throat. She grabbed Rachel’s wrist before she could stop herself, because seeing Rachel upset always fucking killed her. And this was _her_ fault. 

“Rach, I had no idea this would make you so uncomfortable. I guess since you suggested it I thought it would be okay, but obviously it wasn’t and I’m sorry for that--”

Monica stopped mid sentence when she noticed that Rachel was crying. A single tear fell down her cheek and onto her blouse, leaving one dark spot on the beige fabric. 

“Rachel,” Monica hated how wrecked her voice sounded. “Don’t cry. Hey, hey, come here.” 

Rachel wobbled on her feet for a moment before doing as told. Soon, however, she plopped down next to Monica on the couch and wiped at her eyes. Her mascara had smeared and left black marks on her otherwise flawless skin. “It’s not you, it’s--I just can’t…” Rachel trailed off and sucked in a breath. “I shouldn’t have kissed you.” 

If Monica’s heart wasn’t already broken, then it was now. “Oh. I...I’m sorry.” 

Rachel’s eyes widened and she grabbed Monica’s hands urgently. “No! I mean, no, don’t be sorry. It’s me who should be sorry!” 

“What?” Monica asked, holding back tears of her own. “Why?”

Rachel said nothing for a tense moment and fiddled with zipper on her black purse, which was still hanging from her shoulder. “Will you be my best friend no matter what?” 

Monica’s arched brows drew together in concern. “Of course. Always.”

Rachel gave Monica a watery smile and sniffled. “Thanks. I...um. Crap. I didn’t want to tell you this, but I can’t handle it on my own anymore--”

“Go ahead, Rachel. You can tell me anything, you know that.” Monica was afraid, so afraid of so many things, but her main concern right now was Rachel’s well being. She just wanted her to be okay. She tried to convey her love through the tone of her voice, and she reached out a hand to steady Rachel’s shaking ones. “I love you.”

Monica gasped audibly when Rachel sobbed in response. “Don’t say that!” The blonde practically shouted, face falling into her hands. “Please, don’t say that.” 

What the hell was going on? “Rach...please, talk to me.” 

Rachel tried to compose herself, drawing in a shaky breath and tucking loose strands of hair behind her ears. “Promise you won’t hate me?” 

“I could never hate you,” Monica mumbled. Rachel’s words sounded an awful like her own constant inner monologue, and her throat clicked audibly. 

“I...I’m in love with you, Monica, and I hate it and I didn’t even know I could be attracted to other women but you’re all I’ve been thinking about and it’s killing me and that kiss is messing with my head and--” 

Monica’s mouth fell open and she pulled Rachel into a sudden, impossibly tight embrace. “Me too,” She said, breathless. She inhaled the scent of Rachel’s hair again and pressed her lips to the silky nape of her neck. “Me too. For the longest time.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this first chapter. There will be one more with some mature content! :)) <3
> 
> Prompt requested by: Illegalkittens 
> 
> I LOVE prompts!! Please send them my way and I'll see what I can do ;)  
> Thank you all for reading, please comment if you enjoyed!


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